Notes From Atlanta


Wednesday, March 31, 2004
 

WV paying for going Bush.



Bush killing enviroment and water in West Virginia.

Tales of floods and flattened peaks and of homes swept away or devalued in central Appalachia were laid out Tuesday by opponents to the Bush administration's plan to ease a buffer-zone regulation protecting streams from coal mining operations.

Testifying at an Interior Department hearing on the proposal, Mary Miller of Sylvester, West Virginia, said the value of her home had dropped from $144,000 to below $12,000. Residents in her coalfield town won economic damages last month suing a mining company over coal dust covering their homes, vehicles, and other property.

...

The department in January proposed easing a 1983 rule that set limits on coal mining near streams. Current policy says land within 100 feet of a stream cannot be disturbed by mining unless a company can prove it will not affect the water's quality and quantity.

The new rule would require coal operators to minimize only "to the extent possible" any damage to streams, fish, and wildlife by "using the best technology currently available."

...

Department officials have said the current policy is impossible to comply with during "mountaintop mining," which involves shearing off the tops of ridges to expose a coal seam. Dirt and rock are pushed below, often in stream beds, a practice known as valley fill.


If Bush gets his way the mountains of West Virginia will end up being as flat as a new subdivision in Georgia. All streams and valleys will be filled in. I hate to see the enviroment destroyed, but it is amusing to hear a state that went Bush in 2000 start complaining about his policies hurting them. 


 

Treasury Secretary finds ladder industry climbing.



He almost makes a bobo during speach.

It was the anecdote that politically seemed too good to be true. And it was. Treasury Secretary John Snow was set to say on Friday that "frivolous lawsuits" had caused the U.S. ladder industry to fold.

"There is not a single company left in the United States that makes ladders. The lawsuits got to be too much for the ladder industry," read comments Snow prepared for a conference sponsored by the Small Business Administration.

But when the department discovered there were some 11 producers selling $850 million worth of ladders in the United States, those words were left unspoken and deleted from a speech text posted later on the department's Web site.


Why would something as silly as facts ever prevent Republicans from making shit up and passing them off to try and further their agenda? Remember Reagan's big welfare queen story that turned out to be a complete fabrication? Or Bush' WMD claims? Or anything Rush Limbaugh says? 


 

But it can go terribly wrong.



Trojan Games.

Video 1, Video 2 and Video 3.

I can't believe I did not get to go again. I tried so hard to qualify.

I don't think we will be seeing these on CBS. Too #^$&%*@ funny! By the name, you should realize there is some sexual humor, nothing graphic however. 


Tuesday, March 30, 2004
 

Alistair Cooke passed away.



He passed just a month after retiring from his long-running series Letter from America. He is also known for his time on Masterpiece Theater. And of course, being attacked by a duck. In a story about his death, I saw an incredible quote about the assasination of Robert F. Kennedy. I pulled a longer version from the BBC:

Last Tuesday night, for the first time in thirty years, I found myself by one casual chance in a thousand, on hand in a small, narrow serving pantry of the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles, a place that I suppose will never be wiped out of my memory: a sinister alley, a Roman circus run amok, and a charnel house. It would be quite false to say, as I should truly like to say, that I'm sorry I was there.

...

There was suddenly a banging repetition, of a sound that - I don't know how to describe - not at all like shots, like somebody dropping a rack of trays. Half a dozen of us were startled enough to charge through the door, and it had just happened. It was a narrow lane he had come through for there were long steam tables and somebody'd stacked up against them these trellis fences with artificial leaves stuck on 'em, that they use to fence the dance band off from the floor.

The only light was the blue light of three fluorescent tubes slotted in the ceiling. But it was a howling jungle of cries and obscenities and flying limbs and two enormous men - Roosevelt Greer, the football player, and Rafer Johnson I guess, the Olympic champion, piling on to a pair of blue jeans.

There was a head on the floor, streaming blood and somebody put a Kennedy boater under it and the blood trickled down like chocolate sauce on an ice cake. There were flash lights by now and the button eyes of Ethel Kennedy turned to cinders. She was slapping a young man and he was saying "Listen lady, I'm hurt too" - and down on the greasy floor was a huddle of clothes and staring out of it the face of Bobby Kennedy, like the stone face of a child, lying on a cathedral tomb.

I had and have no idea of the time of all this, or even of the event itself, for when I pattered back into the creamy, green genteel dining room I heard somebody cry "Kennedy - shot" and heard a girl moan "No, no, not again" - and my companion was fingering a cigarette package like a paralytic.

A dark woman nearby suddenly bounded to a table and beat it, and howled like a wolf, "Stinking country, no, no, no, no" - and another woman attacked the shadow of the placid T.V. commentators, who'd not yet got the news.

And then a minute maybe, or an hour later or a day, the cops and the burly Johnson shot through the swinging doors with their bundle, of the black curly head and the jeans, and I recall the tight, small behind and the limp head and a face totally dazed.

Well, the next morning when I saw and heard the Pope in his gentle, faltering English, I still could not believe that he was talking about this squalid, appalling scene in a hotel pantry, that I'd been a part of and would always be a part of.


Damn.

He will be missed. 


 

Great article on Fox News by Salon.com



Who do you think is really fair and balanced.

Bill O'Reilly, host of the most popular Fox News show, "The O'Reilly Factor," took to the airwaves on March 4, 2003, to ramp up the claim that not only did Iraq have WMD, but nuclear weapons. He stated definitively that "a load of weapons-grade plutonium has disappeared from Nigeria" and that the theft "should send a signal to all Americans that a nuclear device could be planted here." When he was challenged on his assertion, he insisted, "You cannot refute, and neither can anyone else, that we have plutonium missing in Nigeria, we have two rogue governments, North Korea and Iraq, who are certainly capable of aiding and abetting people who will plant an atomic device, a nuclear device in a city in this country."

O'Reilly was referring to a story that week about radioactive material missing in Nigeria. But it was not plutonium, as he claimed, or anything nearly as lethal as plutonium. It was a compound called Americium 241, wholly unsuitable for the creation of the imaginary "atomic device" O'Reilly referred to. The compound is commonly used for industrial purposes, as opposed to plutonium, which is used primarily for weapons and nuclear reactors. The compound, in fact, was misplaced by Vice President Cheney's old oil firm, Halliburton. (The Nigerian operation under Cheney has sparked an international bribery investigation by the Justice Department.)


Can I note here that more people watch WWE's Raw than watch Bill O'Reilly? And a majority do so because sometimes they see a "shoot" on Raw, which is when storyline is based partially on truth. That never happens on Fox News. 


 

Janet Jackson bleeped.



CBS bleeped Janet Jackson for saying "Jesus" in apparent exasperation. She told David Letterman she felt the public no longer wanted to hear about the "wardrobe malfunction" during the Superbowl. She did not want to talk about it. Letterman did want to talk about it. Did Janet think Letterman wanted her on the show to talk about her new hit single, which has dropped faster than an erection in front of Barbara Bush?

CBS has released an internal memo adding "Jesus," "golly," "jeepers," and "jeez," as words that can no longer be said on their network. "Gosh durn" has already been banned. 


 

Novak = Douche bag



John Stewart on The Daily Show after watching a tape of Robert Novak asking a guest if Clarke just had a problem with an African-American woman for a boss said "Robert Novak: A douche bag for liberty." He also had some comments about Novak playing the race card when it wasn't even on the table. I am still confused about how somebody with enunciation that sounds like a cross between Truman Capote, Sylvester Stallone and Mush-Mouth ever got a job on television. He has the voice and face for newspaper. And just how long has Novak had a problem with female undercover operatives?

I think we all know what to do. Everybody needs to link to Novak with the phrase "douche bag." Like this:

Douche bag.

Now wasn't that easy! 


Monday, March 29, 2004
 

Okay, Aerosmith doesn't suck as much anymore.



I really have not listened to Aerosmith for years. I quit when they started sucking, which was about the time they started recording movie soundtracks. However their album Toys in the Attic is still on my all-time-best-album list. I just heard their cover of Bo Diddley's Roadrunner off their new CD, and while it is not The Sonics, it does kick ass. Their new album Honkin' on Bobo is a strong return to their blues roots. Maybe they are not going to suck as much anymore.

An interesting review from Time:

So you shouldn't dismiss the new blues cover albums by Eric Clapton and Aerosmith simply because both acts are richer, whiter and scarier to look at than Dick Cheney...

Perry isn't the guitarist that Clapton is, but his picking has a slutty vocal quality that's perfect for Bo Diddley's Road Runner and Muddy Waters' I'm Ready. It also plays well off Tyler's singing, which increasingly sounds less human and more like a rogue trumpet. Tyler can still hit all the notes, often at the same time, and his explosive incomprehensibility on Big Joe Williams' Baby, Please Don't Go will leave you laughing — in a good way. It's unclear exactly what Tyler is feeling (though it might be in his pants) but he's definitely feeling something, and Honkin' on Bobo is a reminder that the blues don't need to be profound, they just need to be profoundly felt.
 


 

Doesn't he ever watch Law & Order?



Pickering showing he does not understand that people who plea bargain get lessor sentences, or else that he is a racist:

Pickering's critics say he has a record of racism. His detractors are primarily upset because he reduced the sentence of a white man who -- along with two other men -- burned a cross 10 years ago on the lawn of a biracial couple.

Two of the men pleaded guilty and avoided jail time, but the third was convicted of a hate crime after refusing a plea bargain, and the government proposed a 7 1/2-year sentence. Pickering said he reduced the sentence to 2 1/2 years because the higher sentence was grossly disproportionate to the penalties for the other two men.


If you plead out, you always get lessor sentences, otherwise why not just go to court and give it the old college try? Plus if you testify against your accomplices, you get a shorter sentence than they do. His reasoning seems faulty to everybody that I know who watches Law & Order. If you can't trust Law & Order, who can you trust? But then I am not a lawyer, I just watch them on TV. 


 

This website evolved, damnit!



Need to argue against fundies about Evolution?

Misconception: “Evolution is a theory about the origin of life.”

Response: Evolutionary theory deals mainly with how life changed after its origin. Science does try to investigate how life started (e.g., whether or not it happened near a deep-sea vent, which organic molecules came first, etc.), but these considerations are not the central focus of evolutionary theory. Regardless of how life started, afterwards it branched and diversified. Whether or not we understand how life began, we do understand a lot about what happened during the history of life—though there is still much to learn.

...

Misconception: “Evolution is ‘just’ a theory.”

Response: Scientific theories are explanations that are based on lines of evidence, enable valid predictions, and have been tested in many ways. In contrast, there is also a popular definition of theory—a “guess” or “hunch.” These conflicting definitions often cause unnecessary confusion about evolution.


Some really good information.

From here to here. Works for me. 


Saturday, March 27, 2004
 

Street Preacher.



So I am leaving the Thrasher's game last night, where we got our asses kicked but Andy Sutton finally got in a fight our two, and there is a street preacher on the corner yelling, no screaming, at the top of his lungs "Jesus Christ died on the cross for your sins."

I yelled back, "Thanks for ruining the movie for me, asshole."

Evidently, Jesus also died for the sins of the refs. They could not call anything correct. The Thrashers ended up with 43 minutes penalties. At one point we were down 5-on-3, and the Devils pulled their goalie. Yes, they scored while basically playing 6-on-3. Sutton was in a decent fight he seemed to control, and later knocked a little tiny hockey player on his ass for slashing Pasi. Pasi himself seemed to have some fun, getting away with pulling the skates out from under a Devil standing in the crease. Boys will be boys. 


Friday, March 26, 2004
 

Swimmer killed in auto accident.



Matthew Gribble, who held the world record in the 100-meter butterfly for 326 days, was killed in a car wreck in Florida. He leaves behind a young, loving, 3 1/2-year-old son he used to refer to as "his buddy." His passing his sad, and terrible for his son, but one paragraph in a Miami Herald story brings up a very sad episode in Jimmy Carter's presidency:

Gribble was named Dade's Swimmer of the Year twice at Palmetto. During his freshman year at UM in 1980, he made the U.S. Olympic team, but never got a chance to compete when President Jimmy Carter pulled the United States out of the Moscow Games.


Back then the Olympics were still an amateur event, at least for Americans. People trained and devoted their life to making the Olympic team, with little reward. Jimmy Carter pulled these kids out of the highlight of their young lives because of politics. I still think that was a very poor decision.

Gribble did compete in the '84 Olympics, but a back injury slowed him, and he did not advance beyond the prelims. He did show his tremendous talent in 1982:

In 1982, he grabbed the world's attention when he beat favored German Michael Gross for the gold medal at the World Games in Ecuador. Gross, nicknamed The Albatross, had seven inches on Gribble, who was considered short for a swimmer at six feet tall.


RIP. 


 

Now we're talking



Republicans for Kerry!

When does Zell Miller start accusing the GOP of leaving its members?

Se Salon article for more. 


 

Family values and decency party.



What would Jesus do?

Rep. Earl Ehrhart (R-Powder Springs) acknowledged that he swore at Rep. Judy Manning (R-Marietta) in a House anteroom during a discussion over a House bill. Ehrhart claims Manning insulted him first. A tearful Manning would not discuss the nature of the argument, saying only that it was "unfortunate."


Fucking Republicans! A woman does not agree with you, so you curse her. What about the GOP's stand on decency, morals, and no cursing in the media? Show us your family values! Hypocrits! 


Thursday, March 25, 2004
 

Georgia House bans genital piercings.



Even if adult women want them.

Genital piercings for women were banned by the Georgia House Wednesday as lawmakers considered a bill outlining punishments for female genital mutilation.

The bill would make such mutilation punishable by two to 20 years in prison. It makes no exception for people who give consent to have the procedure performed on their daughters out of religious or cultural custom.

An amendment adopted without objection added "piercing" to the list of things that may not be done to female genitals. Even adult women would not be allowed to get the procedure. The bill eventually passed 160-0, with no debate.

Amendment sponsor Rep. Bill Heath, R-Bremen, was slack-jawed when told after the vote that some adults seek the piercings.

"What? I've never seen such a thing," Heath said. "I, uh, I wouldn't approve of anyone doing it. I don't think that's an appropriate thing to be doing."


While I whole heartedly support any severe, harsh, and painful punishment for female genital mutilation, perhaps they should have left the piercing amendment off of the bill. While Bill Heath may having never seen such a thing, others have. And others sometimes like it.

I am waiting for the Georgia Bill to be passed that outlaws bare midriffs. You know it is coming.

Update: Since it is only women who are no longer allowed to get genital peircings, one has to wonder about constitutional challenges to this. A man is allowed to have his genitals pierced, but a woman is not?

The genital mutilation part of this bill is certainly needed, and applauded. However, the GOP seems to have really screwed this up with the stupid amendment. 


 

Richard Simmons bitch slaps ultimate cage fighter.



Really!

Phoenix police cited fitness guru Richard Simmons on suspicion of assault Wednesday night after he reportedly slapped an ultimate cage fighter across the face inside a Sky Harbor International Airport terminal.

Simmons, the outlandish 55-year-old known for his raucous exercise videos and boisterous personality, slapped the 6-foot-2, 250-pound athlete after the man reportedly made a derogatory remark about Simmons, Phoenix police Lt. Lowell Spalla said. "He made a comment, something to the effect of, 'Hey, look everybody, it's Richard Simmons. Why don't you drop your stuff and start dancing to the oldies?' " Spalla said. "Simmons approached him and said, 'You shouldn't make fun of people who have issues' and then he slapped him."

The unidentified man asked police to file charges against Simmons, who was cited and released before boarding a flight.


Methinks this is going to haunt the cage fighter for the rest of his career. Every time he is in the locker room, or entering a match, he is going to hear about getting bitch slapped by the "Rocking with the Oldies" guy.

Update: Chris Farney is the guys name. "A Harley Davidson salesman" and "a 23-year-old Mesa man (6' 1" and 255 pounds) who happens to cage wrestle in his spare time." So Chris Farney is the guy who was bitch-slapped by Milton "Richard" Simmons, who then had to call the police for help.

I'm hearing a hockey chant at his next match:

Farney,
Farney,
Farney,
You suck!
 


 

Looks like they just missed each other.



Favorite famous couple Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown just missed each other as Whitney check herself out of rehab while Bobby was being assisted back to jail, this time in Virginia.

Whitney Houston checked out of a rehab clinic just five days after checking in March 15.

...

Addiction treatment rarely lasts five days. Most residential rehab facilities follow a 28-day program, says a spokesman for the Center for Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University. Even clinics that treat patients who rely on insurance to pay fees have a 10-day minimum stay.


Who thinks this one is going to work?

Bobby had some 'splainin' to do to the judge as he arrived four hours late for his hearing, and without any money to pay his back child support.

Brown, released from DeKalb County jail earlier this week so he could attend the contempt hearing, cried as he was led from the courtroom. He was to be jailed in the Norfolk County House of Correction.

...

He testified in a hushed voice, telling the judge that he was unable to pay because he had no job and no income.

"I never wanted this to happen," he said.

His attorney, Vincent Dimmock, said although Brown had been a successful pop singer in the 1980s and early 1990s, he has "been nowhere near that in recent years."


One part of me wants to make a snarky remark about the state of his career, but the other wants to acknowledge that many child support arrangements of the wealthy are unfair after the collapse of careers. Bobby and his lawyer should have been working this out in advance, however. They could have had papers filed to revisit child support long ago. Its not like anybody thought his career was going to suddenly take off again. I guess not filling was his prerogative! Ha ha ha! I bet nobody used that joke before. 


Wednesday, March 24, 2004
 

Zell Miller says Kerry is on both sides of many issues?



WTF?

Miller had much harsher words for his Senate colleague, who is preparing to challenge Bush in November. “The fact that he has this very liberal voting record will work negatively,” he said. Miller faulted Kerry for “trying to have it both ways on so many issues.”


Only two years ago he spoke glowingly of Kerry:

At the Georgia Democratic Party’s Jefferson-Jackson Day dinner in 2001, he introduced Kerry as “one of this nation’s authentic heroes, one of this party’s best-known and greatest leaders — and a good friend.”

In remarks reported in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Miller continued, “In his 16 years in the Senate, John Kerry has fought against government waste and worked hard to bring some accountability to Washington.” Miller said Kerry “fought for balanced budgets before it was considered politically correct for Democrats to do so.”


Seems Zell is on two sides of this issue. Which hunting dog of Zell's did Kerry run over? 


 

Silly weakling!



Your crane is no match for the one-eyed monk! 


 

Max Cleland interview



Lets just say he wasn't praising Bush.

MAX CLELAND: That's not the staff director's fault, it is the White House's fault. It's president Bush's fault. President Bush personally has nixed the effort of the 9-11 Commission to get all the documents in the White House, especially the Presidential daily briefs, which basically tell the Commission and the American people what the President knew and when he knew it in regards to the potential attack on 9-11 and the attack itself and the follow-up. He has personally nixed that information coming to 9-11. That means to me that all of the members of that commission will never get to see the real documents that I think are sensitive. The President, as I think John Kerry mentioned, had time to go to rodeo, but didn't have time to appear fully before the 9-11 commission.

Truth of the matter is, the White House has played cover-up and a slow walk to this game from the beginning. Now after sewing to the wind, they're reaping the whirl wind. Now what they've done is forced the Congress to extend the 9-11 Commission two more months, which kicks the final report in July right before the Democratic National Convention. That's not the Democrats' fault. That's not the 9-11 Commission's fault. That is the fault of the White House, to slow up this thing and it never even held any public hearing for six months.
 


 

A kickass story on Jon Stewart and TDS.



Jon Stewart going nowhere (thank god)

I always catch at least the first 10 minutes of the show. Hilarious! 


 

Families of the rich and famous.



So Bobby Brown has been released from jail in Georgia a month early so that he can attend a paternity hearing in Massachusetts. When he arrives at home, his wife Whitney Houston is not there to greet him. It is not because Bobby was in jail for violating his parole by physically abusing her, but because she is in rehab for drug abuse. The paternity hearing he has to attend might have to do with one of the three children from two previous relationships, or perhaps some other children. He is required to be back in Georgia on May 5th to answer battery charges from the attack on his wife.

At least his career is going great! 


 

God, why didn't you send help?



Ever hear the joke about the guy stranded on his roof in the middle of a flood? Every time somebody with a boat comes to rescue him, he turns down the help saying "God will save me." As the waters rise, he drowns. At the Pearly Gates he meets God and asks why He did not rescue him. God says, "Hell, I sent three different boats."

It seems to be happening for real. 


Tuesday, March 23, 2004
 

Things you would never see Bill O'Reilly do.



Yes, another Fark.com thread.

Today's corrections: In yesterday's show, the quote attributed to John Kerry was actually a quote from Benito Mussonlini. Also, it turns out that the entire premise of our opinion segment was utterly unfounded. The O'Reilly Factor regrets the error and thanks alert viewer Al Franken for the tip.


And

"I was wrong."


And

"You know Mr. Ventura, you are absolutely correct. Forgive me for being so blind.
 


 

Yeah!



Beaches ban smoking.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. People should be allowed to do what they want, until it intrudes on me! I hate it when somebody lights ups and ruins the air around me. Smoking smells and it tends to annoy others. I should not be subjected to the second hand smoke. Imagine laying on the beach, enjoying the outdoors, and the sun on your face. Then some schmuck lights up a smoke and kills the beauty for you. Screw that, ban the damn things anywhere in public. Ban the damn things outside of businesses, so that non-smoking employees do not have to walk through smokers to get into their office building. Hell, many smokers even refuse to smoke in their own house now because of the stink.

This is before we ever talk about the ashes and butts that litter our world. Yeah , every single smoker I know does not throw butts on the ground. However, every smoker that I do not know must. Look at all the butts everywhere!

Smoke at home with the windows shut or don't smoke at all. Smoke in a car with the windows rolled up, and get hit with a $200 fine if any butt or ash goes out the window.  


Monday, March 22, 2004
 

Religious fruitcakes in Cartersville at it again.



Lets ban some books!

CARTERSVILLE, Ga. -- Some Christian parents in Georgia want a bevy of books removed from their local schools' reading list.

Three parents with the group Crusaders for Christ told members of the Bartow County Board of Education that several books are too offensive for students to be reading.

The group's leader, the Rev. Dwight Holcomb, told board members, "You're going to answer to God Almighty for your decision."

Among the books the Crusaders for Christ want banned are "Of Mice and Men" by John Steinbeck, "The Martian Chronicles" by Ray Bradbury and "To Kill a Mockingbird" by Harper Lee.

County committees had deemed all of the books appropriate, but committee members will now consider whether to repeal their decision.


And God is going to say: "You let students read 'To Kill a Mockingbird?' Good choice! If only Bush, other Republicans, and conservative Christians would only read that book and actually learn a thing about 'Moral Courage.'" 


 

Idiots known as Regular Guys Suspended.



ROTFLMAO!

Clear Channel Entertainment suspended its popular morning show the Regular Guys on 96rock Friday after the show aired sexually explicit talk with a porn star.

Pat McDonnell, Clear Channel regional vice president, said a preliminary investigation indicates it was an accident, but the hosts Larry Wachs and Eric Von Haessler will remain off the air until a full investigation is complete. He provided no time frame on how long they will be suspended.

Ironically, the Regular Guys were trying to mock the current government campaign against indecency.


No, ironically, the Regular Guys have been rabid GOP and Bush supporters since hitting the air in Atlanta. But what the fuck were they thinking? Which Republican administration has not pushed for morals and decency legislation? Which Republican adiminstration has not tried to restrict freedom of speech? Every Republican Administration ever in office has pushed these types of laws and regulations. So the Regular Guys, aka Complete Idiots, now want to bitch about it? They make their living being "edgy and offensive." Did they think these conservatives in office, that they supported, were going to support their right to be profane and sexually explicit? I think it is funny as shit! I hope these pinheads get shut down by the very administration they vocally supported. That would be funny and ironic!

And following the Janet Jackson Super Bowl breast exposure, the U.S. House of Representatives last week passed a bill that would ratchet up fines to $500,000 per violation from $27,500. It would even make performers such as the Regular Guys financially liable.

"Nobody can afford to be on the hook for a half-million-dollar fine," Wachs said before Friday's incident. "It's ridiculous. It's one strike and you're out. They give more appeals to convicted murderers than a disc jockey saying something indecent."


Again, this is the administration they supported! When it is a poor young man being railroaded for simple possession, the Regular Guys are all for personal responsibility. However, when it is their asses, their jobs, and their paychecks being threatened, suddenly they want appeals and stuff? Funny, these idiots never really cared about the freedoms and rights of anti-war and anti-Bush protesters. Now they are suddenly all about freedom of speech?

I am against the restriction of free speech at all. However, if the half million dollar fines kick in, I would love to see these hypocrites be one of the first radio shows nailed with it. I would laugh my ass off. You reap what you sow. 


 

New Rick Springfield.



Browsing the record store I saw that Rick Springfield has a new album out. Honestly, I didn't know that he was still alive. I looked at the track listing and saw song title like "God Gave You" and "Angels Of The Disappeared." My favorite seemed to be "Jesus Saves." I googled the lyrics.

I know you lie when it's true
Jesus saves white trash, baby like you
It's too late for you to undo
Jesus saves white trash, baby like you


Okay then.  


Friday, March 19, 2004
 

LOL!



I reached out and touched Twitchy and he leaped up snarling like Dick Cheney after his weekly defib. 


 

New urinal at work.



Where is the handle?

No it is not sick, just funny. Now if it had braces, that would be sick. 


 

Another new version of MS Word.



Like we need another version


 

Stewart signs for year extension with The Daily Show.



Yippe!

“A lot of people like to get out when their show’s still going well,” Stewart said. “This gives me the opportunity to beat this thing into the ground.”
 


Thursday, March 18, 2004
 

Bush Conspiracy?



Bush conspiracy generator.

 


Wednesday, March 17, 2004
 

Like leaving a steak cooked at home to eat at McDonalds.



This is Jerri Ryan.

Why the hell would somebody married to her have an affair with his secretary?

The current rumors:

1) Her husband, Jack Ryan, had a romantic affair with his Executive Secretary.
2) That he forced (her word) her to have sexual relations with him against her will, and
3) That he took her to various sex clubs, specifically in New York, New Orleans, and Paris and coerced her to have sex with him in front of other people.


Who said Republicans are not stupid. 


 

Been caught stealing!



I guess if you can't figure out how to steal nice stuff....

Caught in the act of stealing stuff that people were giving away. 


 

Watch Randi Rhodes bitchslap some wingnut talk radio guy.



Go Randi, go!

Wingnut: It is not as if I have to check a box on my employment application as to whether I am a liberal or a conservative to get hired. If you can generate ratings and revenue, no cares what you look like, no one cares what you sound like, and they don't care what your politics are.

Randi: Michael, you don't generate either. You're number 18 in your marketplace and you're working. I'm a liberal working for Clear Channel and I had to be number 1 every single book.... Guys like you are copy cats, all you have done is got on the conservative gravy train.
 


 

How to get the last nail in?



Then of course standing the cross up in a hole is hard to.

HARTLAND, ME — A Hartland man was treated at a Pittsfield hospital after he nailed himself to a cross. The 23-year-old man apparently was trying to commit suicide Thursday evening in his living room, the Bangor Daily News reported.

...

Lt. Pierre Boucher said the man took two pieces of wood, nailed them together in the form of a cross and placed them on the floor. He attached a suicide sign to the wood and then proceeded to nail one of his hands to the makeshift cross using a 14-penny nail and a hammer.

"When he realized that he was unable to nail his other hand to the board, he called 911," Boucher said.

It was unclear whether the man was seeking assistance for his injury or help in nailing down his other hand.


I swear this is not The Onion. I swear. Really. 


Tuesday, March 16, 2004
 

Why?



Whitney enters rehab.

I don't think anybody saw that coming! 


 

Take your best shot!



Boxer taunts opponent, and then gets knocked on his ass, losing possible title shot.

It seemed like Campbell was on track to seriously hurt his opponent. His overconfidence cost him as he dropped his hands and taunted Peden to hit him . Peden took the opportunity presented and dropped Campbell with a brutal left to the head that hit its mark perfectly and sent his opponent to the canvas on his back. Campbell struggled to make his way up as the referee counted. Campbell looked extremely dazed and referee Lou Moret made the right call stopping the contest at 2:27.


Another version:

Peden could not believe his eyes late in the fifth round when his opponent, the short-priced favourite American Nate Campbell, taunted him.

Campbell, cocky after controlling most of the fight, stood in front of Peden, his arms by his side, and taunted the Australian to take his best shot.

Peden did. He unleashed a powerful upper-cut and the American, struck in the jaw, hit the canvas.

The referee counted Campbell out and the fight was over in a stunning upset.


I could read that all day. I really need to see that video! 


Monday, March 15, 2004
 

Bush/Cheney signs for 2004.



Look here and here.

A few captions that need to be made into signs:

"Give Corporate Feudalism a chance."

"Because the poor are in our way."

"Sure we didn't find Weapons of Mass Destruction, but we did find Jesus!"

"Because American dictators should be elected."

"Haunting the dreams of Iraqi children since 2003"

"Bible, Flag, 9/11: We'll wave whatever it takes for you to vote for us!"

"Blaming Clinton for 4 more years"

"Hey, At least we're not getting blow jobs in the office"

"Our God is better than yours"

"Capping Infidels for Jesus"


Yes, all from Fark.com 


 

For the love of God!



We have a war going on, men and women dying in a foreign country, a government stripping benefits away from our injured veterans, a Social Security system that is being bankrupted by the current administration, terrorists bombing in the Middle East and Europe, and a voting system that half the population does not trust. So what does Zell Miller choose to get all worked up about?

Steroids!

The old fart has gone senile! Hey Zell, it is a fucking game! 


Friday, March 12, 2004
 

Kentucky fans poke fun at UGA's team and test taking abilities.



 


 

Republicans are not tougher on crime.



Who started this lie? See the data.

The average crime index for large cities in Republican states is 5407. The average for large cities in Democratic states is 3843. The index is 1.4 times higher in states that voted for Bush in 2000.

The crime index is 1.3 times higher for mid sized cities in red states than blue states. It is also 1.3 times higher for small cities. Just maybe the GOP's policies for crime deterrent are just not working? Perhaps it is time to give the Democrats a chance? 


 

Letters to Salon.com.



I like this one, the very last letter:

If George W. Bush wants to utilize images of 9/11 in his campaign commercials, so be it. I would also like to see the Democrats using images of 9/11 in their campaign ads: such as the image of the president reading a book, about a goat, to school children as the second plane crashed into World Trade Center. Or the image of the president going into hiding after the attacks. The Republicans are correct; Americans should focus on the leadership exhibited by the president on that horrific day.
 


Thursday, March 11, 2004
 

Yahoo Headline.



Internet blamed in spread of syphilis among gays.



Guys, it doesn't work that way. 


 

2004 Jefferson-Jackson Dinner, Georgia



I will attending the Jefferson-Jackson Dinner this evening with a group from work. The owner of my company usually has a table. I believe we have nine people attending for the company. I will be the only Democrat in the group! This could be interesting. As I am pretty open about being a Democrat, I have been receiving some phone calls from other employees. I have been offered condolences for having to sit at a table with 8 Republicans tonight.

We ran short of tickets for the Special Reception this year. As the only Democrat, I did not get one of these. I will have to go to the General Reception. Damn greedy Republicans!

I will post tomorrow on the events.

BTW, would you like to know how I let many people in my company know I was a Democrat? I pruned an old and neglected corn plant outside my office down to nothing, in hopes I could make it grow back into the attractive plant it was many years ago. When people would walk by my door and ask about the plant, I would tell them it was the "George W. Bush National Forest." I got more laughs than I thought I would. Turns out my pruning was about as good for the plant as W's policies are for the forest. I uprooted what was left of the plant, and tossed it into the trash late last week. 


Wednesday, March 10, 2004
 

Gas prices near record highs.



Wasn't invading Iraq also supposed to make sure we had cheap gas? Now we have record highs? Why do I think that GOP contributing oil companies are going to have record profits this year?

The price of gas is a hot topic of conversation among delivery drivers like Armstrong Ratana, who works for Domino's Pizza near Emory University. Any increase at the pump comes out of his own pocket.

"It's really hurting the drivers," he said. "I thought winning the war in Iraq was going to give us cheaper gas. What happened?"


Didn't I just say that? 


 

Bertuzzi sorry for cheap shot.



Yeah, he can be sorry and distraught he hit a guy and broke his neck, but his ass should still be kicked out of hockey for at least a year. The sniper is probably real sorry also, but that is not an excuse. 


 

Superbowl Halftime Dolls!





But it on Ebay


 

Truth in Advetising.



Here.

Here.

From Fark.com, of course 


Tuesday, March 09, 2004
 

30th Anniversary Rush Show!



Oooohhhh!!!!! I just got tickets to the Atlanta show in August. Special early purchase, 'cause I either like know the band or everybody who ever goes to their website gets this deal.

[Real loud high pitched voice]
We are the priests....
[/Real loud high pitched voice]

I am sooooo stoked! Saw them twice in 2002. Unfreakinbelievable! 


Monday, March 08, 2004
 

Thrashers on last minute surge.



They have 8 out of last possible 10 points. They are playing great, and Pasi has been incredible in goal. I was at Friday's game against Carolina, and that was the most exciting game, of any sport, that I have ever been to. The Thrashers lost in OT, but put on last second heroics to keep us in. Jean-Luc Grand-Pierre scored of a Kovalchuck rebound, with 12 seconds left in regulation, to send it to overtime. In overtime as the Thrashers played for the goal and the point, and didn't even pretend to show any defense, Pasi made one incredible stop after another until Carolina put the puck in the goal with only a fraction of a second left. The crowd was delirious. A few people learned again that you never leave a Thrasher's game early.

Exciting video highlights can be found here.

The only real disappointment of the game was watching Kovalchuck miss a breakaway point. Just him and the goalie, which he just lives for, and he shot wide.

Even if we don't make the playoffs, this has been one exciting season! 


Thursday, March 04, 2004
 

You should have taken Coach Harricks class.



Actual questions from Coaching Principles and Strategies of Basketball, taught by an assistant basketball coach at University of Georgia- Go Dogs!:

How many players are allowed to play at one time on any one team in a regulation game?
a. 2
b. 3
c. 4
d. 5


How many halves are in a college basketball game?
a. 1
b. 2
c. 3
d. 4


How many points does a 3-point field goal account for in a Basketball Game?
a. 1
b. 2
c. 3
d. 4


What is the name of the exam which all high school seniors in the State of Georgia must pass?
a. Eye Exam
b. How Do The Grits Taste Exam
c. Bug Control Exam
d. Georgia Exit Exam


I think we need some geometry questions. "What geometric shape is a basketball?"

Oh, this was the class offered by Jim Harrick, Jr., son of head basketball coach Jim Harrick, Sr. Being the son of the coach, I am sure he was hired on merit and his ability to pass his wisdom onto young, impressionable men. 


Wednesday, March 03, 2004
 

God, I hate the Juice...



From Atrios comments, while we are on a SNL theme...

What's with all this new hatred of The Juice?

All I hear these days is how much everyone hates The Juice. The Juice killed Jesus. Blah blah blah.

Look, OJ was acquited. Like it or not, our legal system says he is an innocent man, and we are obligated to respect that.

What? What's that? The Jews? Oh, never mind.


Credited to Gilda Radner, who I doubt is surfing the web much these days. Emily Litella on the other hand... 


 

Voting problems in Georgia!



Major vote counting problems. 


 

The new flag stays.



It is pretty much official now. Never again will we be embarrassed by the confederate emblem flying over our capital. Thank you Governor Barnes for having the courage to set this all in motion. Hopefully we can put this to bed now.

 


 

Screw it! Let them take steroids!



"Getting ready to lift now is Sergei Akmudov of the Soviet Union. His trainer has told me that he's taken anabolic steroids, Novocaine, Nyquil, Darvon and some sort of fish paralyzer. Also, I believe he's had a few cocktails within the last hour or so. All of this is, of course, perfectly legal at the All-Drug Olympics, in fact it's encouraged. Akmudov is going for a clean and jerk of over 1,500 pounds, which would triple the existing world record. That's an awful lot of weight and here he goes ... Oh! He pulled his arms off! He's pulled his arms off! That's gotta be disappointing to the big Russian!"




Oh, the good times we will have.  


Tuesday, March 02, 2004
 

You just paid $3.25 for tap water.



Where does your bottled water come from?

Soft drink giant Coca-Cola has admitted it is selling purified tap water in a bottle.

It says the source for its new Dasani bottled water is the mains supply at its factory in Kent.

...

Judith Snyder, brand PR manager for Dasani, confirmed "municipal" water supplies were used but said the source was "irrelevant" because it "doesn't affect the end result".


So you wouldn't mind drinking some water out of the toilet at work if it was fltered through your system? Can we see this commercial? Live? 


Monday, March 01, 2004
 

Spread the love of Jesus!



Protests today at the Capital concerning the Gay Marriage Ban Christians are trying to ram through the House.

Bill Ball, pastor of Faith Baptist Church in the west Georgia town of Primrose, stood on capitol steps with two other men carrying a sign declaring, “I now pronounce you pervert and pervert.”


Faith Baptist Church of Primrose
Pastor Billy Ball
240 Bextron Rd.
Moreland, GA 30259
Church phone 770-251-5346
Home Phone 770-251-7710

Update: God loves me! I found Billy Ball's picture!



The handsome Mr. Billy Ball!

I don't think he has to sweat another man wanting to marry him. And that is his name. Really.
 


 

Lance happy with life.



The headline reads: Lance Armstrong happy with life

Lets see, sleeping with Sheryl Crow would make me happy with life!

Have you seen the new Lance/Nike commercial? Most pro cyclists have the upper body of 8-year-olds. Lance, as a former swimmer and triathlete, has the upper body of an 11-year-old. I just don't buy him boxing. Kickbboxing, now that would be devastating. Imagine how hard he could kick, and how many times. 


 

Very cool website!



Hockeyfights.com

Do I need to include a description?

Click on "Video." Then choose a fight! My favorite today is Hordichuk vs VandenBussche. I think one of them got pissed at the other for mispronouncing his name! 

News and notes from Atlanta, and a touch of national stuff, as seen by gttim.




Georgia for Dean



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